My 40-week journey with my obstetrician was a struggle to say the least. Each visit was just a mess of stress—for both of us. Many things that were said still bother me, but the most bothersome to me even after all this time was the epidural battle.
Dr. O (you can read more about him here) told me I was “required” to have an epidural if I was going to give birth on his watch. Having researched epidurals already, I knew I didn’t want one because of the possible chain reaction of complications associated with them, included the increased risk of a c-section. I made my concerns known, to which he replied with something I find completely odd. He told me that I couldn’t find a single study citing that epidurals were potentially harmful.
After my appointment, I quickly rushed home and started pulling up my old research. Within an hour, I found twelve articles citing exactly that. And these weren’t from some outlandish quack-magazine. The articles were published in medically-respected journals like the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology, or released by respected organizations like the American Society of Anesthesiologists. So why had my doctor make that statement?
I fervently copied and printed, eagerly forming a mountain of papers covered in studies and facts. I would show him!, I thought. I’d march in there, barely able to walk under the enormous load of in my arms, then with a giant heave, I’d drop them on his desk and shake the floor under its weight. All with a giant, satisfied smirk on my face!
But after about two hours, I stopped. What’s the point? I knew it wouldn’t make a lick of difference in his mind. I had to remember my goal, which was to do what was best for me and my babies, not to try to change a doctor’s mind. And I knew in my heart that an epidural-free birth was what was best for us, and I was going to fight for it.
I’d convinced myself whole-heartedly. That was the only person who mattered.
At my next appointment he sent me across the street to watch “The Video.” Anyone who’s had a baby knows what I’m talking about. I didn’t really know what to expect.
What completely amazed me, and still amazes me to this day, was that video about epidurals was about 15 minutes outlining how the shot was given, but most importantly, the risks and side effects. WHAT? REALLY? I don’t understand it. The doctor who sat and argued with me, telling me that epidurals are completely safe, is the same guy who then sent me away to watch a video about the risks and making me sign a paper saying I understood there was a possibility that one of the outlined risks could became reality? Someone help me understand.
And why am I the only one whose bothered by this? Every day women are shown the video. They are told there are risks associated with epidurals to both her and the baby, and they sign up anyway. For something that’s not necessary! For something that’s, in most cases, only for comfort.
Well, this is one momma who will never, ever be signing that piece of paper.
Simply,
