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“Smile, you have a healthy baby!” |
“You know I’ve never felt a single contraction,” my friend Amy said the other day. I raised an eyebrow, seeing as she has two children. “Yeah, they just told me when to be at the hospital and I had two c-sections and that was it!”
Amy’s c-section experiences don’t bother her a bit. And I’m honestly, truthfully glad for her. Because if it had been me on that table, I would have been devastated. And truthfully I don’t think I would have gotten over it too easily.
When I was ten weeks pregnant I was told I would have a c-section. If you want proof that not all c-sections are necessary, there it is. I wasn’t even showing yet, much less haven’t any worrisome complications. The only reason for it was that I was carrying twins.
What amazed me was the matter-of-fact way the doctor told me. Like he was telling me to lie back on the table or breathe deeply. It meant nothing to him. In fact, he much preferred it that way. No hours of waiting, no calls in the middle of the night. Just scrub down, slice away and you’re done. How convenient.
But to me, the thought of a c-section was very heavy on my heart. I would consider it such a violation. An injustice really. Not to mention a slap in the face to God’s design.
And that’s what it all boils down to for me. God designed the birth process a certain way, for a certain reason. Doing it any other way, for me, was like telling God his way wasn’t good enough. Like we can find a way to do it better.
It certainly is better for the doctors anyway. I remember at 39 weeks when we were considering inducing. One of the reasons he gave was that we can start early in the morning, that way the doctors and the anesthesiologists could work during the day. It’s really a courtesy to them, he said. Well of course, I thought. I’d hate for the miraculous birth of my babies to serve as any kind of inconvenience for you.
Yes, the birth of my babies is a miracle, Doc. I’m sorry you just see it as another job, but it’s not.
If you look at c-section statistics, you’ll see the hour with the most c-sections is 4pm–just before the doctor’s due to be home for dinner. Isn’t it strange how so many c-section-dependent complications happen to arise just at that time?
And that angers me. It makes me so upset that so many women’s wombs are sliced open who don’t want it, simply because of reasons they think are beyond their control.
There are women who need the c-section—where it was truly necessary—and I’m not talking about those situations. I’m not even really talking about those women like my friend Amy. Though her c-section was unnecessary, at least she was perfectly ok with it.
I’m talking about the growing number of women who are like me. Who want a natural birth but have to fight tooth and nail to get it. Or those who wanted a natural birth, but didn’t know they could fight for it. Too many people just sit and do anything the doctor says.
Like the woman whose artwork is displayed at www.cesarean-art.com. I’ve never really been so touched by artwork before. Although I’ve never experienced an unnecessary c-section, even the thought stirs up deep emotions, and I tear up when I look at these paintings.
I have no idea if these paintings can possibly be understood by anyone who doesn’t feel the way the artist and I do. Are other people just reading this blog, looking at these paintings, and not understanding why we view unnecessary cesareans as so unjust? Possibly. But it feels good to let it out anyway. And maybe it will get someone thinking about cesareans in way they hadn’t before.
During one of our many “discussions,” my doctor said that once I hold that baby in my arms, I won’t care what happened to me. How unfair. The mother is so often overlooked. She matters too! But there’s a fear in our society. Good mothers are supposed to be completely selfless, right?
From www.cesarean-art.com:
“Now the whole room only cares about him,
why is he crying too
what are they doing to my baby let me see
him let me have him let me hold him
I can’t ask with this mask on my face,
my empty arms strapped down,
my legs numb I cannot move.
Why am I here alone, no one left
to hold my hand and they’re putting
bloody organs back inside me,
I am open to the wind and so alone
I don’t even have my baby anymore.”
- Mary Most, 1994 “War Story” excerpt
For more information about unnecessary c-sections, I recommend Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block.
You can also find good info at www.theunnecesarean.com.
